Tag Archives: weekend funnies

Frivolous Friday …

On this particular Friday I would like to take you back in time. I know that I have a lot of readers who are much younger than I am. So, I thought I would share with you some of the aspects of my growing up in the 1940’s and ’50’s.

Tony

3 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Frivolous Friday …

As Monty Python used to say, “And now for something new and completely different.” Instead of the usual flotsam and jetsam I picked up surfing, I thought I would share this old email that I got some years ago. I apologize if you have seen it, too. But, for those who haven’t I think you will enjoy reading it.

art artwork gallery glass window
Photo by Matheus Guimarães on Pexels.com

PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND SPELLING. IF YOU KNOW THE BIBLE EVEN A LITTLE, YOU’LL FIND THIS HILARIOUS! IT COMES FROM A CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST.

KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS. THE FOLLOWING 25 STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN. THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED. INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN.

1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.

2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH’S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.

3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.

4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.

5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.
 

6. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.

7. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD
, WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.

8. THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT
 CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.

9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.

10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.

11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL.
 

12. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.

13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.

14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.

15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.

16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER.

17. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.

18. ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.

19. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE.

20. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.

21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.

22. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.

23. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.

24. ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY, WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.

25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY.

Leave a comment

Filed under weekend funnies

Frivolous Friday …

Some lightweight items to put you in the mood for the weekend ….

Tony

3 Comments

Filed under frivolous Friday, weekend funnies

Frivolous Friday

These tickled my fancy over the past week …

Tony

Leave a comment

Filed under frivolous Friday, weekend funnies

Frivolous Friday …

I thought the new header was a bit more fun than Weekend Funnies. What do you think?

Tony

3 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Weekend funnies …

Tony

4 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Weekend Funnies …

I hope you enjoy these as much as I did. Or, maybe I was just in a goofier mood then normal.

Tony

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Weekend funnies …

In honor of income tax deadline coming up, I thought you might enjoy these.

Tony

2 Comments

Filed under weekend funnies

Weekend funnies

Here’s hoping the first week of April is treating you well. Perhaps a little humor. . .

Have a great weekend!

Tony

2 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Weekend funnies …

How appropriate, Weekend Funnies for you on April Fool’s Day. I feel so in tune …

Have a great weekend!

Tony

2 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Weekend funnies …

Tony

Leave a comment

Filed under weekend funnies

Weekend funnies …

Does time fly or what? Here we are already halfway through March of 2022. Must admit that I am loving the springlike temps here in Chicago.

Tony

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Weekend funnies …

Have a great weekend!

Tony

1 Comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Weekend Funnies …

Are you ready to enjoy the final weekend of February? Spring is right around the corner.

Tony

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Weekend funnies

Hoping you all had a pleasant Valentine’s Day.

Tony

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Weekend funnies …

We have put January behind us and Valentine’s Day is next week, can Spring be far behind?

Have a great weekend!

Tony

Leave a comment

Filed under weekend funnies