Category Archives: weekend funnies

Frivolous Friday…

Have a great weekend!

Tony

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Frivolous Friday …

Children of the corn …

Tony

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Frivolous Friday …

Can we really be

A little nonsense now and then,
is cherished by the wisest men.

~ Roald Dahl

Tony

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Frivolous Friday …

Hope you are able to keep cool in August. I know that here in Chicago it is not so easy. Time to lighten up!

Stay cool … and healthy!

Tony

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Frivolous Friday …

Hope you are enjoying the final Friday of July.

I love the expressions he gets on the cats’ faces.

Tony

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Frivolous Friday

Are you enjoying the waning days of July? They are waning a bit warmly here in Chicago. I hope you have better luck.

Tony

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Frivolous Friday …

As Monty Python used to say, “And now for something new and completely different.” Instead of the usual flotsam and jetsam I picked up surfing, I thought I would share this old email that I got some years ago. I apologize if you have seen it, too. But, for those who haven’t I think you will enjoy reading it.

art artwork gallery glass window
Photo by Matheus Guimarães on Pexels.com

PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND SPELLING. IF YOU KNOW THE BIBLE EVEN A LITTLE, YOU’LL FIND THIS HILARIOUS! IT COMES FROM A CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST.

KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS. THE FOLLOWING 25 STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN. THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED. INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN.

1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.

2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH’S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.

3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.

4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.

5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.
 

6. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.

7. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD
, WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.

8. THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT
 CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.

9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.

10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.

11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL.
 

12. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.

13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.

14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.

15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.

16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER.

17. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.

18. ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.

19. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE.

20. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.

21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.

22. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.

23. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.

24. ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY, WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.

25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY.

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Frivolous Friday …

Some lightweight items to put you in the mood for the weekend ….

Tony

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Frivolous Friday

These tickled my fancy over the past week …

Tony

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Frivolous Friday …

I hope you are able to have a frivolous Friday. Here are a few incentives to put you in the mood.

Tony

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Weekend funnies …

In honor of income tax deadline coming up, I thought you might enjoy these.

Tony

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Weekend funnies …

Tony

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Weekend funnies …

We have put January behind us and Valentine’s Day is next week, can Spring be far behind?

Have a great weekend!

Tony

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Weekend funnies …

Here’s hoping that the first week of the New Year is a good one for you. If not, hopefully these images will lift your spirits.

Tony

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Weekend funnies …

Welcome to December. We are rounding third and heading for home.

Tony

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Weekend funnies …

These tickled my fancy. I hope they do the same for you.

Tony

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