Category Archives: weekend funnies

Weekend funnies …

Hopefully some bright spots to lighten your day ahead of the weekend.

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Tony

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Weekend Funnies …

Here’s hoping these can lift your spirits somewhat going into the weekend.

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I shot this picture. We had Lollapallooza here last week and I saw this when they were setting up. I don’t expect to ever see a doorless row of porta-potties again in my lifetime.

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Tony

 

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Weekend funnies …

I hope the first weekend in August proves to be your best one so far this year.

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Weekend funnies …

Workers of the world, unite. It’s almost Friday night. Here are some little items I picked up in my web wanderings for your amusement.

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Tony

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Weekend funnies …

I hope you are looking forward to a wonderful couple of days off. Hopefully, here are some items to get you started.

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Tony

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Weekend funnies … Italian jokes

Okay, please chill, PC police. I am Italian and I think they are funny and not offensive. I hope you can enjoy the humor in these ahead of the weekend.

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Tony

 

 

 

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Weekend funnies …

How about a Friday after a holiday? For those of you who have to go back to work for ONE DAY  before enjoying the weekend … my sympathy. I hope you can enjoy these little items I ran across recently. Have a great weekend!

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Tony

 

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Weekend funnies …

As Monty Python used to say, “And now for something new and completely different.” Instead of the usual flotsam and jetsam I picked up surfing, I thought I would share this old email that I got some years ago. I apologize if you have seen it, too. But, for those who haven’t I think you will enjoy reading it.

IMAGINE A NUN SITTING AT HER DESK GRADING PAPERS, ALL THE WHILE TRYING TO KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE AND MAINTAIN HER COMPOSURE!

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Photo by Matheus Guimarães on Pexels.com

PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND SPELLING. IF YOU KNOW THE BIBLE EVEN A LITTLE, YOU’LL FIND THIS HILARIOUS! IT COMES FROM A CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST.

KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS. THE FOLLOWING 25 STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN. THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED. INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN.

1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.

2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH’S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.

3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.

4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.

5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.
 

6. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.

7. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD
, WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.

8. THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT
 CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.

9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.

10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.

11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL.
 

12. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.

13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.

14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.

15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.

16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER.

17. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.

18. ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.

19. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE.

20. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.

21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.

22. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.

23. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.

24. ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY, WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.

25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY.

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Weekend funnies …

Here are some fun (I think) items I ran across that might give your weekend a pleasant send off.

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Tony

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Weekend funnies …

Here we are facing another weekend again. I hope yours proves to be a great one.

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Tony

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Weekend funnies …

I hope you have a great weekend coming up. Here are some items that might help get you in the mood.

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Tony

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Weekend funnies …

Happy Memorial Day. I hope you have a wonderful holiday weekend.

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Tony

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Weekend funnies …

I hope you have a wonderful weekend. Perhaps, here is a laugh or two to get you started.

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Tony

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Weekend funnies …

Here’s hoping you are about to have a great weekend. Enjoy! May the fourth be with you!

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This is actually my dog, Gabi, checking the microwave lid for snacks.

Tony

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Weekend funnies …

Hello and welcome to this overture to the weekend. I hope it turns out to be a fun one for you.

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Tony

 

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Weekend funnies …

I hope you have a pleasant Friday that leads to a wonderful weekend. Following may be something to tickle the ribs.

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Meet Romeo the giraffe

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Tony

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