Death and Grieving …

I realize that the subject of death and grieving is not typical for me here, but since Gabi, my canine companion of the past 16 years, died just over a week ago, I have experienced a tsunami of grief.

I used to say, flippantly, “I don’t do grief well.” Now that I am in the throes of it I realize what a shallow remark that is and I am sorry I said it. Grief is no trivial matter as anyone who has lost a loved one can attest.

A friend of mine on Facebook created this picture of Gabi

Someone said, “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.” One of the most devastating aspects of my dog dying is the finality of it. Death is the end. No mas. I will never see her again, never rub her furry head or wet nose. Never go for another walk together. That is OVER. It wasn’t just her life that ended it was OUR life together that died.

Gabi was in her 17th year and I had seen her declining physically for the past two years. I wrote a post about it last August.

Nonetheless when she died last Friday, I was devastated emotionally. I couldn’t comprehend the depth of emotional pain I was experiencing.

First of all, grief isn’t something we encounter regularly. Secondly, I think we often aren’t prepared for it … certainly not its power. I know I was not ready.

16 Comments

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16 responses to “Death and Grieving …

  1. garrystafford

    I’m so sorry to hear that Tony. I have a min pin who seems to be closer day by day. I dread the day that she’ll be gone but just trying to enjoy what time we have left. It’s amazing how helpful they can be. She has been with me through a divorce, job change, pandemic, and most recently, retirement. She’s amazingly comforting and seems to know what I’m thinking and especially what I’m feeling. Thank you for sharing Tony. That we’re able to rely on each other certainly helps at times. Give yourself special time to heal and take care of yourself. -Garry

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Sorry to hear that and my condolences. I was never a dog person, until I got a dog. Now he’s my best friend and I can’t even bear the thought of the end (hopefully, a long way off). They really do find their way deep into your heart. Take care and cherish the memories.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Hi, Tony,
    I am so sorry that your dear Gabi died. Your love for her will hold her in your heart and be with you forever. I hope your pain and grief will soften each passing day, and your memories of Gabi will comfort you knowing she had a truly loving life together with you.🐾🫂

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Ciecka, Jim

    Tony,
    I read your blog this morning. Please accept my condolences about Gabi.
    My dog, Newton, is 12. I have often thought about life without him, and a profound sense of sadness overwhelms me. My eyes tear as they are now while typing this on my iPhone. I realize the emotions you must feel, and I am deeply sorry for you loss.
    I am in Florida now but will return to Chicago in three weeks. I hope to see your riding your bicycle and in the park.
    Jim

    Sent from my iPhone

    Liked by 4 people

  5. That sucks. I’ve seen a long parade of rescued cats and dogs die at my mom’s house and she is devastated each and every time That’s the main reason I’ve never had my own pet along with being a renter where often you can’t have them. This won’t help but 17 years is pretty long run for a dog. On the other hand there are many shelter dogs needing rescue. Maybe you consider that in some point when you’re ready. Best wishes.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Thanks, Dude.I appreciate your comments. She was my first dog. I wasn’t really a dog person before I got her ( which was unplanned). You are right about the shelter dogs. Needless to say, right now that isn’t in the cards.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Raj Chaudhary

    Tony, nothing is in our control, earth also has time to end. Live the life and remember the memories of love / togetherness of Gabi.
    Gabi is in your heart and will never be come out of it.
    Raj

    Liked by 3 people

  7. I’m so sorry for your loss, Tony. You’ll be in my prayers, buddy.

    Liked by 3 people

  8. Danny Gillis

    Sorry for your loss Tony. I’m 66 and have a 12 year old Pekingese (Alfie) who has a few problems but is still in good health for his age. But I know that he probably won’t be here much longer. Pekingese normally live to about 12-13.

    I’ve owned and lost dogs all of my life and know how much it hurts when they inevitably die. Unfortunately my wife has told me that Alfie is my last. We’re both on the cusp of retirement and intend doing a bit of traveling, but I think that her real reason for ‘putting her foot down’ is that she is worried that a new puppy could well outlive us – with all that implies.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Thanks for sharing and for your kind words. Ironically, I had thought Gabi would outlive me and I had provided for her in my will. I don’t think I am ready for a new dog yet, but don’t want a puppy for exactly the same reason. I will likely adopt a mature animal. Enjoy your guy while you have him.

      Liked by 1 person

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